Tag Archives: document the abuse

Open Letter to Janay Rice

9 Sep


I want you to know how sorry I am for what has happened to you. You were violently attacked by Ray and the whole world saw it on video. You were probably embarrassed, and I would guess very afraid. After all, Ray is an elite athlete, and more importantly, your intimate partner. Then just a couple of days ago, you had to be humiliated again with the release of the video that showed exactly what was done to you in that hotel elevator.

Please don’t feel blame for what happened to you. You can’t do anything to make anyone hurt you. Nothing. You are not in charge of any other person’s emotions, or lack of self-control. Please hear that and internalize it.

Don’t listen to the voices that blame you for staying with Ray. They just don’t understand. They don’t understand how fearful a person can be because of the repeatedly frightening actions that one person can perpetrate upon another. They can’t comprehend how you could possibly stay in a relationship after seeing what was done to you in the video.

But I can.

I understand it because I’ve met and assisted countless victims of domestic violence. I was Stacy Peterson‘s pastor and counselor. She was married to Drew Peterson before she disappeared. Drew is the former Bolingbrook, IL police sergeant that you may have heard about…and is spending the next 36 years in prison because he was convicted of murdering a different wife, named Kathleen Savio.

Since meeting Stacy, I’ve helped many women around the country get renewed courage. Courage to believe that they were worth more than what their abusers told them. Courage to believe that they could make it alone. Courage to believe that they could be wanted by another person. Courage to leave.

I don’t know you, but I’d be honored to help you.

I hope you will take a look at this site: documenttheabuse.com ~

There is hope, and we are waiting to help you…with NO judgment, whatsoever. You are not alone. You are loved.



How #JodiArias will make life harder for victims of #DV

1 Mar

Do you remember the story of the boy who cried wolf?  If you don’t, you surely understand the concept of it.  If you pretend like you are in need of something, but you really aren’t, eventually people won’t pay attention to you any more.

While the boy in the story ultimately harmed himself because of his falsehood, it doesn’t always work that way.  There are times when others are placed in harm’s way because of the selfishness of others.

I believe this is going to be part of the ‘fall-out’ from the Jodi Arias murder trial.  Arias is on trial for the murder of her boyfriend, Travis Alexander.  After telling all sorts of stories about what happened on the day of Travis’ death, Jodi ran out of stories that involved other people.  Her narrative then switched to herself.  She claimed that she killed Travis out of necessity because she was abused by him and she was afraid that he was going to kill her first.

The story doesn’t add up, and there is quite convincing evidence (at least to me) of Jodi committing premeditated murder.  Ultimately, I believe she will be found guilty, and will at least, spend the rest of her life behind bars.  Unfortunately however, her lies will have grave ramifications for true victims of domestic violence.

Victims of #DV are told by their abusers that they are worthless and that no one else would ever want to be with them.  They’re told that they are stupid and wrong and entirely expendable.  Unfortunately, these manipulative tactics are effective and victims believe that they don’t have stories that anyone else would believe.  I’ve spent many hours with these victims, letting them know that God loves them and that we are so grateful to get the chance to assist them on their journeys back to real life.

Because of Jodi Arias’ lies, victims are not going to feel as safe about speaking up.  Why?  Because victims will be afraid that they will be looked at with the same skepticism that Arias is receiving.  Sadly, that is a realistic fear.  When people cry wolf, victims suffer.

I want you to know something…if you are a victim and you are thinking of telling your story, please know that it is safe with me.  I will help you to the very best of my ability.  Do not allow Jodi Arias or any other liars to keep you silent.

For more information or if you are ready to get help now, please click here.


Neil Schori


4 Feb

One of my huge dreams for 2012 is to start educating church leaders about domestic violence.  It is epidemic in our culture, but the church is largely silent.  Here are some figures:

1.  1 in 4 women will be subjected to domestic violence in her lifetime in the USA.

2.  8 women are killed each day in the United States by their intimate partners.

3.  Around 1.3 million women are abused each year in the United States.

And this is where my dream begins…


There are about 300,000 churches in the United States today.  What if every pastor in our country decided that enough was enough, and recruited 4 or 5 families in his/her church to be refuges for the abused?  If that happened, our culture would be radically changed because suddenly women would have anonymous and safe places to go.  Abusers would know that they could no longer manipulate gullible pastors into believing their lies.  Domestic violence activists and shelters would start to see churches as what they should have always been: safe places for victims of abuse.

If this moves your heart, I need you to speak up.  Tomorrow after church, please email your pastor and ask to have a meeting to talk about this issue that destroys the lives of 1/4 of all of the women that you’ll see at church tomorrow.  We owe it to them.  Tell your pastor to go to http://documenttheabuse.com  It details the ground-breaking work we are doing to rescue women from abuse.

If your pastor doesn’t seem to take interest, be persistent.  The only thing we can do is be persistent.  Help me find 4 or 5 families in every church in this nation to provide refuge for victims of abuse.

One way we are spreading the word about domestic violence is tweeting about it non-stop.  Would you ask all of your friends to donate one tweet a day to spread the word about what we are doing?  If so go to http://justcoz.org/napervillecc

Thanks for caring and listening.  Thanks, mostly, for what you will DO.  Let’s change this culture!